Rubik Gate - A Rubiks cube that when solved makes you feel clever, it may also open a gateway to hell, but you solved the puzzle, so whatever.īeats of Elvenkind: This somewhat garish and ungainly (but somehow perceived to be stylish) headgear provides to your ears the finest quality Elven Music, at the cost of dampening out all other noise. Talisman of Ziggy - Helps you empathise with the comic character Ziggy Robe of useless items - a rubber chicken, 100' of dental floss in 1' pieces, the busted four foot ladder your father never threw out, a burned out rusted pot, 22 pounds of worn out roofing shingles, 8 pieces soggy firewood, the rotted hull of a canoe, a key to that lock you lost ages ago, half of an ashtray Well of many Earls - Every time you open it, its full of landed nobility and guys named Earl, sometimes both, none of therm are happy with the situation Girdle of Kobold Strength - Makes your strength score 6 (yes this would have been a decent bonus to carry capacity on a few characters over the years) Taliasman of Ultimate Neutrality - Does nothing, ever, but is silently judging you for being an extremistīoots of Halfling kind - makes your feet very hairy Ring of the Lamb - sings insistently, in high pitched slightly off key braying. However, the only way to discover hidden foes is by knocking on every surface of the room to the tune of "Shave and a haircut" until the enemy is compelled to finish it. Ring of Doom: Allows the wearer to discern the location of any enemies hidden behind secret doors or walls. Tasha's Hideous Bowler: An enchanted hat so utterly unfashionable that it causes anyone within a 20ft radius to point and snigger, but only when the wearer isn't looking. Rod of Castellation: An intelligent item that will loudly comment on the quality of construction of any structure you happen to be near. Quill of Rage: An ordinary quill that will only write when you scribble in the corner to make sure it is working. Laugh track if the wielder crit-fails on an attack roll.ĭiadem of Upward Inflection: The wearer always sounds like they're asking a question?ĭole's Amulet: The wearer is now cursed: Whenever they peel a banana, they will NEVER be able to get rid of the icky stringy bits.ĭecanter of Endless Milk: Unfortunately, the milk expired centuries ago.īreeches of Trust: Once per day, the wearer makes very uncomfortable advances on a random party member. Sword of Studio Applause: Explosive applause every time the sword is drawn or kills an enemy. These are all great! Here are a few off the top of my head: Shield of Continuity Error: It's on the left arm, then the right, the left again, etc. Quite what the party are supposed to do with the 4D20 dolphins that have just entered the material plane is anyone's guess Rock of Returning: S'funny, could have sworn I threw that thing away.ĭrumkit of Dolphin Summoning: Does exactly what it says on the tin. Otherwise, does nothing to stop the encroachment of undead, gay or otherwise.īag of Insufficient Volume: Everything just doesn't quite fit in this magical sack of frustrationĪmulet of Referring To Oneself In 3rd Person: Early onset narcissism. Ring of Turning Undead: Congratulations, the zombies now enjoy an alternative lifestyle. ![]() Summons 1D3 dreadlocked Buffalo Soldiers, who are pacifists, and very hungry. Gauntlets of Self Abuse: oh good lord, he's doing it again ![]() Scroll of Striking: upon incantation, all NPCs/Hirelings immediately form a worker's committee and take industrial action Wand of Pointing: casts really minor light spell, useful vs cats.Ĭloak of Dramatic Billowing: makes anyone look heroic (optional +1 charm), but a downright liability when you're trying to sneak up on peopleĬandle of Incandescence: an apparently normal candle until lit, then everyone in 10' radius gets very cross indeed A small sample of the list is below, but I would welcome some more if you have any Mostly these items will start to creep into campaigns either as nuisance items, obscure use, or just of the lolz by creating a sudden panic when the item does something completely irrelevant and unexpected. Our theory (well, mine, mostly) is that there must be some magic items in circulation which didn't quite work out as intended, or were conceived by the apprentice, subject to the Friday Afternoon rule, or deliberately made down to a budget for the 1GP Magic Store chain. This is patently absurd, unless you want to really argue that your D&D realm is some sort of Free Market utopia where the competition ensures high standards. ![]() Everything works exactly as it should, and everything is really useful - even the cursed items. Although we didn't start with the D&D stable alliterative 'in an Inn', a serious metaphysical discussion in the pub gave rise to an observation that quality control at the magic item sweatshops is superb - there never seem to be any duds of anything on the market.
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