Blurry ones, crystal clear ones, good lighting, bad lighting, etc. Since I’ve stayed away from the discover page, I’ve embraced my photos and social media presence. She expressed her enjoyment in photography, but also said, “It can be a lot to see so many images of people doing so many fun and different things, all with different styles and it can be easy to have yours lost and spiral down a hole of comparison.” Even my friend, who’s the cutest person alive, struggles with comparison. And I was surprised to hear that it’s a love/hate relationship for her. If I were her, I would feel stressed to post a new picture-perfect photo every day. She loves to pose, edit, and inspire! Since she’s taken on the title of a “cute famous Instagrammer,” I had to ask, how she does it. She’s gone from 500 followers to 18k in months. I have a near and dear friend who has embraced Instagram this last year. “Wow, she’s so pretty, why can’t I look like that?” or “I wish I had that outfit” or “My photos aren’t as cool as hers.” I have spent mindless hours on this page, telling myself nothing but negative things. On Instagram, there is a “discover” page that highlights posts you may like. Limiting screen time will help kids combat depressive feelings. Rather than having your kids spend their free time on their screen, encourage them to indulge in a meaningful activity such as art, music, dance, sports, or a hobby! This will significantly increase their self-worth far more than any time spent on social media. Every kid should feel like they have a valuable life. From personal experience, the more time I spend on social media, the worse I feel about myself. “Several findings indicate that greater time spent on is associated with more social comparison, which, in turn, is associated with more depressive symptoms” (Hanna, 2017). How can we teach our kids not to get caught up in comparison? I just want our kids to stop comparing their life through the flawed lens of social media. It’s almost impossible to remember that everyone is struggling when all I see is “happiness.” Now, I’m not saying we should to post every bad moment in our life or that we even need to. If I’m having a bad day and I scroll through social media, I often feel worse about my day because I see everyone enjoying their life with no stress or struggles. Everyone is smiling, showcasing a great moment in their life or looking confident as ever. I’m scrolling through Instagram right now, and out of the first 20 posts I see, not one is being vulnerable. Since the majority of posts are highlights though, it’s hard not to compare our worst to others’ best. They are wonderfully relatable rather than comparable. Posts like these exemplify reality! They showcase a non-picture-perfect life. Occasionally you may come across a post of a mom with her child’s spit-up all over her or a so-called “Pinterest fail,” but how common is it to see things like this? And it isn’t capable of showing us the loneliness and isolation that many people are feeling. It doesn’t show our arguments with family members, your neighbor losing her job, or the moment your teenager gives you the “I hate you” look. What social media doesn’t show is how everyone’s life is just as imperfect as our own. According to a study done on about 1,500 teens and adults, Instagram was rated the “worst social media network for mental health and well being” (Macmillan, 2017). “Such comparisons may occur frequently with use because users tend to disproportionately represent positive life developments, portray themselves to be happier than they actually are” (Hanna, 2017). Because of this, comparison is becoming a common negative feeling, especially in kids. Social media is often referred to as a “highlight reel,” meaning everyone shares their best moments in life.
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